I hate certain things about myself.
For some reason my brain, whenever someone sounds sad around me… I feel like I must be at fault. That I need to fix it. That I’ve failed in someway. Even if it’s not logical. And that when that person says it’s nothing, but still sounds sad… that I’ve done something even worse. I KNOW I’m not the easiest person to talk to, but I’m trying to be better about that. With my friends and my relationship with Matt. It just makes me so sad to feel like maybe I’ve done something to upset someone I’m friends with or love, but not have any idea how I did it. It’s logical, cause I know that a lot of the time it might not be my fault… But that just makes me feel like I’ve failed as a friend if the person can’t talk about it with me. I just have a habit of beating myself up about it. Like that’s gonna help this. And then I end up with an anxiety attack of sorts. I worry and worry and worry about being a constant screw up.
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