October 21st, 2007
First
I’ve come to realize that this may be the first time in my life EVERYTHING in my life isn’t working well at the same time. I don’t expect everything to be perfect all the time, but I usually have some hope of alrightness. Not now. And it comes at a time where I feel like I have no one to comfort me. No one to turn to, to make me smile, or hug me. Make me feel better and tell me that all will be alright.
Love, Health, Financially, School, Work, Friends, Personal Happiness… all of these things are not okay right now. I’m trying. I really am. But its hard doing it on my own. I’m not someone who can hide my feelings, or not tell people what wrong. I wish could do it sometimes. But like most humans I have emotions, and feelings and I express them. Except for now, I’m not sure how. Before if I was a crummy day or I don’t feel good, like now, I could hug or cuddle. Now I can’t. It’s a very empty feeling.
The only thing I feel okay about right now is my halloween costume, and even that is no fun when you have no one to look cute for. And it needs to be hemmed.
Btw… I noticed today that I say hello to every bunny I pass. “Hello Mr Bunny. How are you today?” I suppose as long as I don’t invite them to tea or something equally ridiculous.